Dear Too Many Tweets Guy,

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We all have those friends who tweet a ridiculous amount of information each day that include information that almost none of us find useful. A recent study confirms that at least 40% of the information shared on Twitter is useless information or what has become known as “Twitter Babble.”

I actually love these people because they teach me about using Social Media to share personal thoughts or whats going on in my daily life, but sometimes the massive amount of information can get to be a bit much. So this post is a tongue in cheek letter for those of you want to break up with the Twitter Guy or Gal in your life.

Dear Too Many Tweet Guy,

This letter has been coming a long time so I am just going to come out and say it, its time for me to click the big unfollow button and end our Twitter Relationship. I would say “it isn’t you its me” but to be honest a lot of it is about you. Don’t get me wrong we had some great times at the beginning Tweeting our opinions about news, culture, and sports. The excitement I felt the first time you gave me a shout out in one of your Tweets, sharing articles, the deep conversations using only direct messages, and our creative use of hashtags.

Where did we go wrong? I guess the first warning sign in our Twitter relationship was the random Tweets about what you were doing during the day. It’s cool getting your insight on the upcoming presidential election, news, or something exciting but is it necessary to know you are eating a ham sandwich for lunch? Or whether its hot or cold outside? Or how your diet is going? Or whether or not you feel like going to work? I understand that these things are important to you but doubt the see any reason for them to be shared in a Tweet unless ham sandwich starts trending.

I think its great you can go to work, the gym, a restaurant for lunch, a cafe, the gym again , go shopping with friends, and attend a cool party all in one day, but why are you telling me this? Are you trying to point out your active social life while I watch tv and eat popcorn at night, because that’s not very nice.

The fact that your such a devoted fan of that sports team or television show is fantastic but don’t think that gives you the right to send me ten or fifteen Tweets during the latest episode or game. Trust me when I say the NFL commissioner will not change the helmet to helmet hit rule just because he read your tweet. Nor will a tweet by tweet commentary of the show result in a cameo appearance.

The amount of tracks on your iPod is very impressive and I bow in respect to your wonderful taste in music. However it’s probably not necessary for me to know what songs you are listening to on the way to work, during work, on the way home from work, during your workout, and while going to sleep.

As with most relationships the break up period will be followed by an Awkward Tweet stage so lets just decide not to Tweet anything about one another for a few days. And please don’t be hurt by my ending this relationship, it is for the best. They say “if you love somebody let them go” so I am letting you go Twitter Guy, fly as high and free as the bird whose chirp informs you of new Tweets, Tweet to your heart’s content. And if you ever miss me don’t worry…we will always have Facebook.

Published by

John Wilburn

Church planter, teacher, and disciple-maker in Barrouallie St. Vincent

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