Twenty One More Days

Twenty-one more days, three weeks, five hundred and four hours.  That’s how much time I have before one the biggest events since my arrival in Melbourne on January 10, 2007.

What could this momentous occasion be?  Helping to plant a new Church?  Getting a job in the local school system?  Finally finding a sport that I am actually good at?  No its much more serious than that…on June 26 my parents will be flying from Los Angeles to Melbourne Australia which makes me incredibly nervous.  Not the  “son we don’t love you any more” kind of nervous, but more like an anxiety that activities won’t go as planned.

In honor of their visit I am listing the top twenty-one things that need to be done before mom and dad visit.

1.  Clean the house

Editors Note:  This will fit into my mother’s definition of the word “clean” as opposed to mine, which consists of sweeping dirt under things

2.  Get Groceries that don’t have the words cheese filled, battered, fried, or ramen in them

3.  Put family photos on the wall and act as if they have been there for years

4.  Find family photos

5.  Explain to the dog that he is no longer allowed to sleep on the bed at night

6.  Get a new dog

7.  Take a picture of my pet kangaroo Skippy tied to the tree out back

8.  Figure out how much to charge for rent

Editors Note:  That’s a joke; please don’t tell my mom I said this

9.  Locate the mop and broom

Kidding I know exactly where they are, have been in the same spot for five months

10.  Brush up on my cooking skills

Step one open box, step two preheat oven

11.  Seriously clean the house

12.  Plan “authentic” Australian activities (riding kangaroos, throwing boomerangs)

13.  Teach them what a real cappuccino is

14.  Introduce them to the world’s greatest invention…the Tim Tam

15.  Threaten my Australian friends within an inch of their lives about sharing those embarrassing stories

16.  What are you doing typing this? CLEAN THE HOUSE!

17.  Get ready to make them an authentic Australian meal

Editors Note:  This would be sausages off the barbecue (that’s grill for yanks)

18.  Help them embrace the Metric system (Celsius and Kilometers)

Failure to do this will result in their facing the greatest form of Australian punishment, eating a spoonful of Vegemite

Go ahead and google the word  Vegemite I’ll wait, disgusting isn’t it?

19.  Make them sing the Essendon Fight Song

Go ahead and google Essendon…you know you want to

20.  Explain that in Melbourne there is a law that demands you give your firstborn child twenty dollars every day

21. Ask my mother to clean the house

Just kidding mom…but at least you will know where the mop and broom are

Published by

John Wilburn

Church planter, teacher, and disciple-maker in Barrouallie St. Vincent

2 thoughts on “Twenty One More Days”

  1. #1. Stop panicking

    #2. Learn how to write a list that can follow chronological order. ie #1 Clean house #9 Locate broom and mop. #9 must be done before #1 can happen 😉

    #3. Be yourself

    #4. Since you are trying to be Aussie, cooking is easy (Meatpies, Snags, Lamb Chops, Porterhouse Steak, Fairy Bread, buy a Pavlova)

    #5. Take them to Healsville Sanctuary

    #6 Take them to Flinders Street

    #7 Take them to a Essedon game

    #8 Let your Aussie mates tell the embarrasing stories, (your parents will hear them, laugh, and then tell your churches back in the states the stories, to which the churches will know that you need serious help and provide more money)

    #9 (but this should be #1) Take them to Gippsland to dispel the myth that all Australia is the Bush, which will look like the scenes from Mad Max. We don’t all live on a desert.

    1. Thanks mate, am trying not to stress too much since I am sure Mom and Dad will have a gerat time no matter what, and will probably end up listening to those embarrassing stories. Can only avoid them for so long anyways.

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