Last Sunday I was able to present my ministry for the last time before taking a break for Christmas, it’s been a real blessing to be with Churches eight out of the last ten weeks. These ministry opportunities are encouraging as I am able to share the burden God has placed on my heart for Melbourne but can be frustrating as well since so much needs to be accomplished in a short amount of time.
Churches and Pastors are very gracious of course, usually giving at least forty-minutes for the presentation, but when you consider how many things are involved in sharing a ministry (testimony, video, sermon, question and answer session, music, stories from the mission field ect..) it’s easy to see how fitting everything in can be a challenge.
While I am appreciative for the wonderful opportunities provided, part of me wishes there was enough time for portions of the presentation that had been eliminated. Till the day a Pastor gives me a few hours, it’s my honor to share with you the thirteen things I wish I could do in a ministry presentation.
1. Do the Hauka (this is a war dance popular in the Country of New Zealand and famously performed by the NZ All Blacks Rugby Team before every game; nothing leads to a large love offering better than tribal war dances)
2. A ten-minute lecture on how Crocodile Dundee is no way an accurate portrayal of the Australian Culture
3. Bring out my live Kangaroo Skippy and let children ride him around the Church
4. Throw a boomerang and catch it blindfolded
5. Cook Blooming Onions from the Outback Steakhouse for everyone since it’s authentic Australian food (that’s a joke, there is only one Outback Steakhouse in Australia)
6. Getting the people to sing, “tie me kangaroo down sport” and “waltzing Matilda”
7. Use my well-developed fake Australian Accent (my Aussie friends have made me promise never to use it again)
8. Make people eat Vegemite on toast (the fact that the word Concentrated Yeast Extract is on every jar of Vegemite should give you an idea of how it tastes)
9. Interpret the commonly used slang terms in the Australian language
10. Have a Rugby Scrum with the men of the Church
11. Lead the Church in an “aussie aussie aussie” “oi oi oi” chant
12. Cook Roo (kangaroo) burgers for everyone on the barbie (grill)
13. Explain exactly how to play the game of Cricket (this takes at least an hour)
Well, there you have it, my dream presentation guaranteed to gain new financial support….or at least entertain people.